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Literature Text
Once upon a time there was a bookmark salesman. He sold bookmarks, the little plastic ones you find at book stored and book fairs. His bestsellers were the ones with kitties on them. He got most of his profit from businessmen who read a lot of books and lose their place often while their secretaries wrap their back hair in curlers. After all, what kind of businessman has straight back hair in this upwardly moving world? A bad businessman.
One particularly hairy businessman was perusing his stock one balmy afternoon. He had a suitcase in one hand, and a container of his favourite fruity beverage in the other. With him was a small boy with a love for pasta and bedtime stories. He was wise beyond his years, which is why he lived with such an older man. The old man lived on top of mt Fuji. Theoretically, that is.
He immediately spotted the most expensive bookmark. That boy had an eye for luxury. The sales man could tell just by looking at him. The old man and the boy invited the salesman in their house. The bookmark seller was glad to show the boy his finest piece.
"That's bonerific, but why don't you sell something other than bookmarks?"
"Like what, little boy?"
"I hear the market for bookends is better"
"What do you know, I've been doing this for years."
"Ghjkmjkfgjghdgfnsdfhjgk"
"LEAVE MY STAND AT ONCE, DEMON CHILD, THE POWER OF THE CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"
"Nnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaargljfdhk"
"SOMEONE STOP THIS, THIS CHILD IS HYSTERICAL, RUNNIN AROUND LIKE A CRAZY ANIMAL!"
"MORE LIKE PARTAY ANIMAL."
"GET THIS CRAZY ANIMAL AWAY FROM THE BOOKMARKS!"
"BABY ARE YOU DOWN, DOWN, DOWN" *noms bookmarks*
"THE POWER OF THE CHRIST COMPELS YOU, BE GONE OUT OF THIS CHILD YE DEMONS!"
"RRRRRRRRRRRAAAWWWRRR"
"OH MY GOD HIT THE KILL SWITCH! KILL SWITCH! KILL SWITCH! ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US."
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch."
"WIND ER UP A BIT. WIND THE RECORD PLAYER."
"LOOK MA, WE STRUCK OIL!"
"QUIET THE DEMON!"
The salesman gave up and ran out the door.
Ignorance would be bliss if you had never read this story. But you did, so there's nothing blissful about your situation.
One particularly hairy businessman was perusing his stock one balmy afternoon. He had a suitcase in one hand, and a container of his favourite fruity beverage in the other. With him was a small boy with a love for pasta and bedtime stories. He was wise beyond his years, which is why he lived with such an older man. The old man lived on top of mt Fuji. Theoretically, that is.
He immediately spotted the most expensive bookmark. That boy had an eye for luxury. The sales man could tell just by looking at him. The old man and the boy invited the salesman in their house. The bookmark seller was glad to show the boy his finest piece.
"That's bonerific, but why don't you sell something other than bookmarks?"
"Like what, little boy?"
"I hear the market for bookends is better"
"What do you know, I've been doing this for years."
"Ghjkmjkfgjghdgfnsdfhjgk"
"LEAVE MY STAND AT ONCE, DEMON CHILD, THE POWER OF THE CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"
"Nnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaargljfdhk"
"SOMEONE STOP THIS, THIS CHILD IS HYSTERICAL, RUNNIN AROUND LIKE A CRAZY ANIMAL!"
"MORE LIKE PARTAY ANIMAL."
"GET THIS CRAZY ANIMAL AWAY FROM THE BOOKMARKS!"
"BABY ARE YOU DOWN, DOWN, DOWN" *noms bookmarks*
"THE POWER OF THE CHRIST COMPELS YOU, BE GONE OUT OF THIS CHILD YE DEMONS!"
"RRRRRRRRRRRAAAWWWRRR"
"OH MY GOD HIT THE KILL SWITCH! KILL SWITCH! KILL SWITCH! ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US."
"Meanwhile, back at the ranch."
"WIND ER UP A BIT. WIND THE RECORD PLAYER."
"LOOK MA, WE STRUCK OIL!"
"QUIET THE DEMON!"
The salesman gave up and ran out the door.
Ignorance would be bliss if you had never read this story. But you did, so there's nothing blissful about your situation.
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© 2011 - 2024 jb1667
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